When I was growing up, my friends' parents and my family and such always said I'd grow up to make some woman a good wife. They were wrong about the woman part but I have grown up to be more wifely than I am okay with at times. I've blogged about gender before. It is coming up again but I think I'm in a situation in which I've actually learned from a mistake!
When I was dating Joshua, I was constantly convinced that my wifeyness was a turn-off for him. I thought that his hyper-masculine persona would require the same in return for mutual attraction. At some point I said something about this out loud and he gave me Heather's patented you-fucking-idiot face and said, "Why would you ever think that?" I was so stunned I don't know what happened next. I have been having the same thoughts popping up with Mr Dreamy (his name is Frank btw) but suddenly remembered what Joshua said and decided I would let him tell me if I was doing something that wasn't attractive to him. I'm not particularly effeminate... I did (with Gregory's help) hem Frank's pants into shorts for his new job. I'm crafty.
Gender roles and expectations kind of screw things up. He told me when we first met that he liked that I was masculine. I just thought he might be a little silly from getting hit in the cage. I think, though, that in some ways I'm 'typically masculine' and in other ways I'm just not. What I am recognizing is that doesn't mean I'm not attractive or awesome. It's just me being me. I can't tell you how much different it has sounded this time around to hear friends say, "Just be you." I actually think they might be right. Score one for improved self-esteem.
In other news, he's put me on a diet. Should I be offended? Actually, I was ready to transition to solid food after 6 weeks of protein shakes and of the options in front of me his was the most attractive. It could be that the prospect of someone else creating my menu plan and grocery list was the best part but as it is, I have put my continued body change in his hands and he is handling me gently. It is good.
I got new shoes today, too. I will be faster and jump higher for a limited amount of time. And, yes, they are blue with blue camo. HAWT!
The Weekend
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Jay and I spent part of this past weekend in Chicago and I have to admit
that it's been hard being back here, since. I just love that place. We spent
most ...
1 hour ago
2 comments:
Welcome to the cult of VFFs, man! :) The blue camo is fantastic.
When I'd said that I liked that you were masculine, I was not, in fact, suffering from getting knocked around the cage (though I suffer that often enough), and it's one of the ways in which you're right about type-casting gender roles.
You participate in a sport which leads to bumps and bruises, is inherently confrontational, requires dedication, and that one not be afraid to bleed from time to time. You're clear-minded and assertive. You know what's going on under the hood of your car. It's stuff like that I was talking about, and while those things may seem like silly factors for attraction, hey... they work for me. :) And I'd define those qualities as "masculine," which is as much me typecasting as someone who would say that habits of speech or vocabulary might be more definitive as masculine or feminine, or sexual habits, or whatever.
I'm speaking theoretically, there, not commenting on you (or me, for that matter :) ).
As for the diet, I'm glad you're not offended, and think it's good. It's a nutrition program (I hate the word "diet" and prefer "nutrition program," not because diet doesn't carry the meaning I intend, it actually does, but it carries an incorrect meaning to most people, conjuring images of some temporary alteration of eating habits to reach a short-term goal)which I would put the whole world on if they'd let me.
those shoes are wonderful!!!!
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